This Injustice Won't Stand: What Fuels Your Fight?

Hey friend, this week I've been diving into Dr. Pauli Murray's incredible personal history in her book, "Song in a Weary Throat: Memoir of an American Pilgrimage."

Although the book is required reading for one of my Doctor of Ministry classes this semester, it ought to be required reading for you, too. But since it’s over 600 pages, you might not finish it all too soon.

So I’ll just hit a few highlights for you…

Dr. Murray was a trailblazer! If you don't know about her, she was a civil rights and social justice activist, a prolific writer, and legal advocate.

She had a Doctorate in Law from Yale and a Master in Divinity degree from an Episcopalian seminary and many other high academic achievements.

She also holds many “first” honorary titles such as: “California’s first African-American deputy attorney general” and “First African-American woman ordained as an Episcopal priest.”

Dr. Murray, who passed away in 1985, was a total force of nature who fought tirelessly for justice and equality.

Now back to her memoir.

One scene that got me fired up was when Dr. Murray applied in 1938 to the University of North Carolina for their PhD program.

She was an exceptional student, with a mind sharper than a switchblade.

But imagine her indignation when the rejection letter hit her with this line: "Members of your race are not admitted to the University."

Are you kidding me?!

Dr. Murray, rightfully, felt a storm of frustration and pain. If I was in her shoes, I'd be beyond angry too. It's that feeling of "How dare you? This is NOT okay!"

But here's what's amazing: she didn't let that injustice break her.

Instead, it became a defining moment that propelled her into a lifelong fight for civil rights and social justice.

And that has me thinking…

What makes you mad?

What injustices (big or small) light a flame in your gut that demand action?

Maybe it's climate change, discrimination, healthcare inequality, or the way certain groups are treated unfairly by the system?

Maybe it’s that there aren’t any vegan and gluten free bakeries in your neighborhood?

Maybe it’s new home buyers getting taken advantage of by unscrupulous lenders?

Maybe it’s unlicensed contractors swooping into town after a hail storm to try to collect insurance money from damaged roofs and then skipping town?

Whatever it is, that fiery feeling is very personal and very powerful!

The question is, how can you harness that energy?

Dr. Murray shows us the way:

Own your anger, let it fuel you: Don't shy away from those feelings, injustice (whatever the scale of it) SHOULD make you feel uncomfortable.

Take action, big or small: Write emails, join a movement, educate yourself, find a way to use your unique skills for good – do something that pushes for change.

Don't give up: Progress often feels slow, but persistence is key. Remember, even small drops of water can carve out mighty canyons over time.

Your anger, your frustration, your burning desire for change, is a gift. It's a sign you care deeply about something and have the potential to make a difference.

So, what's making you shout for change, and how are you going to let that fire fuel your life? 🙂

When "Ugh" Feels Like Your Spirit Animal: Why Giving Up on Your Dreams is Like Kicking a Unicorn in the Knee (Seriously, Don't!)

Remember that majestic unicorn you saw prancing across the internet? The one with the shimmering coat and the horn that promised wishes and wonder?

Chasing dreams can feel a lot like that unicorn – beautiful, full of potential, and then BAM!

That lovely unicorn impales your ass with its horn. Ouch!!!

Now you’re in a lot of metaphorical pain and suddenly the idea of chasing dream-infused rainbows seems much less appealing.

Let's face it, dreams can be tough. They demand grit, hustle, and sometimes, the emotional equivalent of eating wet grass (because even unicorns don’t like wet grass).

So, when the going gets rough and the temptation to toss your dream-creating magic wand into the "Goodwill Donation Pile" is strong, you might find yourself muttering, "Maybe I'm not unicorn-material afterall."

But hold on, dream weaver, before you donate your magic wand and purchase something much less magical, consider this: giving up on your dreams is like kicking a unicorn in the knee.

(And stay with me on these points….I’m well aware that I’m stretching this whole “unicorn thing” quite far.)

So don’t give up because…

1. Unicorns are magical, and so are you. Don't let the world cut off your sparkly horn. You've got the potential to achieve amazing things, even if right now you're feeling more like a grumpy donkey than a majestic mythical beast.

2. Kicking things, even metaphorical unicorns, is generally frowned upon. Plus, imagine the poor unicorn's sparkly tears! It doesn't deserve such cruelty. And neither do you. Your dreams are inside of you for a reason, kicking them just because you are struggling a bit will only cause more pain in your soul.

3. Giving up is the opposite of magical. Seriously, the world has enough quitters, whiners, and magic haters. Be the rebel, the one who chases their dreams even when giving up might appear to be the most “logical” thing to do.

The path to your dreams is rarely a unicorn gallop. It's more like a winding forest trail up a mountain filled with rockslides, dead ends, and the occasional grumpy troll.

But the view from the top? Totally worth the scraped knees and questionable troll encounters.

So, the next time you feel like giving up, do yourself a favor:

Talk. Reach out to a friend, family member, or coach – they can all offer support and remind you why you started this crazy dream journey in the first place.

Celebrate. Did you finally write that first sentence of your book? High-five yourself! Did you get your resume ready? Do a victory dance! Did you do 15 minutes of cardio? Theme song from Rocky time! Every step, no matter how small, is a step closer to your goal.

Remember. What sparked this dream in the first place? Reconnect with that passion, that fire in your belly, and let it reignite your motivation.

Chasing your dreams might be tough, but trust me, it's a heck of a lot more rewarding than living with the regret of not trying your hardest.

So, chin up, buttercup, and keep chasing those dreams! The world needs your magic.

After all, who wants a world without unicorns? I certainly don’t. 🦄

The Expectation Tango: When Reality Steps on Your Toes

Let's face it, friend, we humans are a waltzing bunch.

We twirl through life, partners in hand (sometimes imaginary, sometimes not), and hope the steps will be elegant, smooth, and lead us exactly where we envisioned.

But then, reality stumbles in, trips over our fancy footwork, and sends us sprawling in a heap of crumpled expectations.

We all know the feeling…

You picture your dream job to be stimulating, dynamic, with opportunities galore.

Turns out, it's more like repetitive tasks, fluorescent lighting, endless spreadsheets, and a pain-in-the-ass boss.

Or maybe you envisioned your dream vacation: turquoise waters, pristine beaches, and piña coladas brought to you by an overly tanned server as you relax under palm trees.

Instead, you're fighting crowds, battling a sunburn, and dodging overpriced (and watered down) cocktails self-served from a Slushy Machine.

Cue the internal conflict: disappointment, frustration, maybe even a touch of betrayal.

Why does this happen, and how can we avoid becoming permanent residents of Disappointmentville?

The culprit here is our old nemesis: expectations.

We base our expectations on past experiences, media portrayals, or even just wishful thinking, and then get blindsided when things don't pan out exactly as we planned.

It's like judging a book by its cover, only the cover is a perfectly staged Instagram photo and the book is full of plot twists and unexpected detours.

So, how do we avoid this expectation tango gone wrong?

Here are a few tips:

Reality Check: Before waltzing into a new situation or break-dancing through a current one, take a breath and do a gut check. Are your expectations based on actual facts, fueled by fantasy, or conjured up in your head as “the right and only way to do things”? A healthy dose of reality goes a long way.

Embrace Flexibility: Remember, life rarely follows a predetermined script. Be open to the unexpected, the detours, and the occasional plot twist. It might just lead you somewhere even more amazing.

Focus on the Present: Stop comparing your life to some Pinterest-perfect ideal. Savor the small wins, appreciate the unique moments, and find joy in the journey, not just the destination.

Communicate: If someone's behavior consistently falls short of your expectations, have an honest and loving conversation. They might not even be aware of your unspoken assumptions. A heartfelt conversation also goes a long way.

Remember, expectations aren't bad in and of themselves. They can motivate us and they do give us something to strive for. But when we cling to them too tightly, they become blinders, preventing us from seeing the amazing things that unfold from life.

So, let's loosen our grip on those expectations, keep ourselves in check with reality, embrace flexibility, focus on the present, and communicate with love.

Now go turn down the volume on the disappointment soundtrack.

After all, the real joy happens when we can learn to dance to an unexpected tune. 🙂

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions: Choosing Wisely at Life's Crossroads and Junctions

Life's a winding road, peppered with forks so unpredictable we’d often rather not venture out just so that we don’t have to be faced with the pain of “which way should I go, which way should I go, which way should I go?” Decisions, they swirl around our heads like leaves on a windy fall day.

But fear not, fellow traveler, for within you lies the wisdom to navigate these crossroads with grace (and maybe a little humor).

First things first, let's not sweat the small stuff.

Cobb Salad versus Tomato Soup for lunch? Flip a coin, consult the nearest pigeon, it probably matters little in the grand scheme of things (unless you’re deathly allergic to tomatoes!).

But when a decision carries the weight of, say, tremendous physical pain, a complete career change, a divorce, a year of your precious time, a move to another country, etc….you need to channel your inner guru.

Imagine yourself as a wise old Yoda, perched on a rock overlooking your life's path. Now, ask yourself:

"If I was staring at this decision, with no past baggage, with no prior time, with no prior emotional, nor with any prior financial investment, what would I choose?"

This fresh perspective cuts through the noise and reveals your true desires.

Next, tap into your intuition. It's that little voice whispering: "This relationship isn’t working." Or "Yes, I do really like living in a foreign country." Or “I really don’t like being a doctor.”

Don't ignore it – it's your soul's GPS, guiding you towards what truly resonates with you.

And because we're all human (and sometimes our inner guru takes a nap), seek external guidance. Talk to trusted friends, mentors, or even an overly friendly life coach.

While you’re waiting to have that conversation, ask yourself, "If my best friend were in this difficult decision dilemma, what advice would I give them?"

Chances are, the wisdom you offer your bestie is exactly what you need to hear yourself.

Finally, take a leap of faith and visualize. Fast forward 20 years. See yourself basking in the glorious outcome of your decision, a smug smile playing on your lips. This future you declares, "See? I told you that deciding to _____________ (fill in the blank) was the right decision.”

Remember, there's no magic formula for perfect decisions. Sometimes you'll choose the wrong path, and that's okay! Thankfully most decisions can be undone (not always easily, but undone, nonetheless).

It's all part of the messy, beautiful, life journey.

So, embrace the crossroads, channel your inner wisdom, and hey, if you're still stuck, make the best decision you can.That’s all you can really do anyway.

You’ve got this. 🙂

Own Your Mess, Fix Your Life: Why Problems Are Actually Presents in Disguise

Did you read that title and scoff, "Own my mess? Are you kidding me?"

I’ve written a lot about this topic. It’s an important one. It bears some repetition.

So relax, this isn’t about wallowing in misery (although, sometimes a good wallow is cathartic).

This is about unlocking the hidden superpower buried within every problem: control.

Think about it for a moment.

When you blame the traffic gods, the snooze button demons, or even the "unfair universe" for your woes, you're outsourcing your problems.

You're basically saying, "Nope, not my circus, not my monkeys!"

But by tossing your issues (and your monkeys) over the fence, you're also chucking the key to the solution along with them.

Here's the truth bomb: your problems ARE yours.

Not in a "cosmic punishment" kind of way, but in a "growth opportunity" kind of way.

When you take ownership (deep breath, I know it's scary), you empower yourself.

You become the hero of your own story, not the distressed Disney Princess waiting for Prince Fix-It-All to ride in and save the day.

Now, I'm not saying you have to sing kumbaya with every obstacle. We all have moments of "WHY ME?!"

But, instead of getting stuck in the blame game, try this:

  • Shift your perspective: See problems as challenges, not curses. They're opportunities to learn, adapt, and grow. You know, like that time you thought your life was over because you lost your job, but ended up landing a much better one? Yeah, that.

  • Become a detective: Instead of pointing fingers, investigate. What role did your choices, actions, or even lack thereof play? How did you contribute to the mess that you find yourself in? Please don't beat yourself up, just gather clues. This self-awareness is your ultimate weapon.

  • Embrace the pivot: Remember, you're not stuck. With every problem comes a chance to adjust your course. Maybe that goal needs a tweak, or that relationship needs a healthy dose of honesty. Whatever it is, own your power to change.

Look, taking responsibility isn't easy. It takes guts, humility, and a willingness to get a little dirty. But trust me, when you slide into the driver's seat of your problems, you'll discover a whole new level of control, resilience, and yes, even success.

So, go forth, conquer your challenges, and remember: the solution (and the power) lies within you.

Now get out there and take back control. 🙂

Stealth Ninjas of Frustration: How to Outsmart Your Inner Grump

Let's face it, friends, even the Buddha had bad days.

Frustration, that sneaky emotion, has a way of ambushing us like a black belt ninja – when we least expect it.

Suddenly, we're fuming over spilled coffee, snapping at loved ones, and questioning our entire life path.

But here's the thing: these moments of grumpiness are normal.

They don't define you, and they certainly don't mean you're failing at Zen-ness.

So, next time frustration throws a smoke bomb in your path, try this ninja-approved counterattack:

1. Pause. Don't react like a startled bunny. Instead, take a deep breath (or three). This creates space between you and your emotions, preventing them from dictating your actions.

2. Breathe some more. Seriously, your body tenses up during frustration, so deep breaths send calming signals to your brain. Imagine inhaling peace and exhaling annoyance (Make it a mantra…inhaling peace….exhaling annoyance.)

3. Be a detective. What triggered this emotional reaction? Was it lack of sleep, hunger, or a traffic jam worthy of an action movie? Identifying the culprit helps you avoid similar situations in the future.

4. Learn from the master. Every misstep holds a lesson. Did you overcommit? Did you forget to eat breakfast? Recognizing your patterns paves the way for positive change.

5. Prepare for the next battle. Just like any good ninja, be ready for the next ambush. Pack your emotional toolkit with stress-busting activities like meditation, exercise, or simply spending time in nature.

Remember, personal development is a journey, not a destination.

There will be stumbles, but with a little awareness and some self-compassion, you can outsmart those pesky frustration ninjas and emerge even stronger.

Now go forth and conquer your day, fellow warriors of inner peace! 🙂

Stop Whining, Start Winning: The Feedback Loop You're Ignoring

Ever feel like you're stuck on a hamster wheel of complaints? "Ugh, I have no energy," you sigh, reaching for another can of Red Bull.

"Work is stressing me out!" you groan, while scrolling through endless social media feeds.

"Why don't I have the success I want?" you lament, ignoring the half-finished self-improvement book gathering dust on your nightstand.

Hold up buttercup! Before you blame God, the Universe, or your parents for your woes, consider this: your life is a constant feedback loop.

Every grumble, every frustration, every lackluster result is whispering valuable information about what's going on behind the scenes.

That "no energy" complaint? It might not be a lack of caffeine, but rather a symptom of poor pre-sleep routines, a bad diet, or even a hidden health issue.

That "work stress"? Maybe it's not just the job, but a mismatch between your skills and passions.

And that "lack of success"? Perhaps it's not about external factors, but about neglecting personal growth and focusing on the wrong goals.

The key to unlocking this hidden feedback loop is simple:

Stop Blaming, Start Listening: Instead of blaming external factors, listen to what your life is trying to tell you. Are you tired all the time? What are your sleep, exercise, and eating habits saying about your lifestyle? Are you stressed at work? What does that reveal about your career choices and fulfillment?

Dig Deep, Find the Root: Don't settle for surface-level explanations. What's the root cause of your fatigue? Is it just one late night, or a pattern of unhealthy habits? What's driving your work stress? Is it the workload, the company culture, or a mismatch in your expectations?

Fix the Cause, Change the Result: Once you identify the root cause, it's time for action! Address the underlying issue, not just the symptoms. Want more energy? Prioritize quality sleep, healthy eating, and aerobic exercise. Feeling stressed at work? Explore career paths that align with your passions, or have an honest conversation with your manager (or with a mirror if you are your own boss!).

Remember, your life is a reflection of your choices.

By tuning into the feedback loop and addressing the root causes of your challenges, you can transform your complaints into catalysts for positive change.

So ditch the blame game, embrace the feedback, and start creating the results you truly desire! 🙂

PS: A pro tip. Do some “me-search” for a week or two. “Me-search” (what is that?) it’s research on yourself. Put on a virtual lab coat and observe the areas of your life you want to improve. Ask yourself investigative questions. Experiment. Make changes. Do trials, tweaks, and tricks. And write all of your observations and results down. You’ll be amazed at the information you gather.

When Patience Erodes: A Valentine's Day Fiasco and the Art of Saying “Enough!”

Valentine's Day. A night of love, laughter, and...desperately trying to find a fast food drive-thru to save the day!

That was the unexpected ambiance for my Valentine’s Day Date Night.

Let me set the scene for you:

We arrived in romantic spirits at 8pm for our dinner reservation. We're greeted warmly, seated promptly on the charming outdoor patio, and presented with menus and waters.

My lovely fiancé is glowing like a February sunset in her pink blouse.

The evening hums with anticipation, the cool air warmed by romance and propane heaters, live piano jazz plays in the background.

She orders a glass of wine. We choose our appetizers, entrees, “oh the desserts look phenomenal, too!”

A symphony of culinary delight is about to unfold with the promise of a delicious meal.

I’m savoring the moment….“Does life get any better than this?”

(Little did we know, we were about to be served up a comedic tragedy of epic proportions, a masterclass in testing the limits of human patience, and ultimately, a valuable lesson in learning when to say "enough!")

“It’s so peaceful out here on the patio” I comment to my date.

And then I start thinking, “A little too peaceful….where has our waiter gone? That wine?”

No wine for my lady, no appetizer, just the lingering melody of the piano and the growing rumble of our empty stomachs.

“Ah finally….only thirty minutes for a glass of wine but at least we are moving in the right direction.” I acknowledge to myself.

Fifteen minutes after the wine (at forty-five minutes since we ordered if you’re keeping track of the time), the waiter informs us that our chosen appetizer has mysteriously vanished, devoured by another diner.

We shrug it off, roll with the punches, and order the shrimp plate instead.

But what arrives thirty minutes after our revised appetizer order is a culinary masterpiece yet devoid of plates, silverware, and napkins.

“I’ll be right back with those…” we are promised.

We wait…and wait…I ask for assistance from another server….and wait some more.

It seemed like we had become the characters in a Netflix movie we watched last weekend — we might not really exist.

Time stretches, patience frays, and existential questions begin to bubble up:

"Are we now invisible?”

“Is this some sort of simulation?”

“Are we part of that old TV show ‘Candid Camera’?”

“Is the name of this restaurant really ‘The Black Hole’?”

We’ve been at the restaurant for an hour and a half….

My fiancé, ever the pragmatist, drops the truth bomb: "If this were our first date, it would be our last."

My nervous laughter erupts (ha-ha).

Oh she’s serious. Very serious. And very hungry.

Finally, the breaking point arrives.

Ignored, invisible, and famished, we decide to cut our losses and seek sustenance elsewhere.

Fast food might not have been the most romantic option, but at that point, even a combo meal from “Slim Chickens” (love that name) was delightful.

So, what did this Valentine's Day fiasco teach me?

It wasn't just about the broken “I’ll be right back” promises of our waiter or the disappearing food. It was about the power of saying "enough."

We often find ourselves tolerating inconveniences, swallowing our frustration, and contorting ourselves to fit into situations that don't serve us.

We tell ourselves, "It's not a big deal," or "They're just having a bad day," or the ever-popular (at least here in the Carolinas), "Southern hospitality means things move slower around here."

But there's a difference between patience and self-sacrifice.

There's a fine line between understanding and accepting the unacceptable.

And sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and those around us is to recognize when that line has been crossed.

Saying "enough" isn't about being rude or demanding; it's about setting boundaries and advocating for your own well-being.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation that's testing your patience, remember that it's okay to say "enough," to walk away, and to seek out experiences that nourish your soul instead of starving your sanity.

And who knows, you might just end up with a story even funnier (and more satisfying) than mine. 🙂

Treat Yo' Self Like You Treat Your Valentine: A Guide to Self-Love Without the Selfies

Do you buy overpriced roses, hand-made truffles, and pink stuffed bears with heart-shaped hats for others but would never think about frivolously spending any money on yourself?

Have you ever booked a spa day for your bestie but haven't seen a bubble bath since you were a kid?

Or are you a champion at listening to your partner's woes but haven't given your own inner voice a hug in months?

We've all been there, stuck in the loop of pouring our attention into everyone else while our own well-being gathers dust bunnies.

Valentine’s Day Newsflash: you're just as deserving of love, care, and attention as anyone else on this planet.

We often treat ourselves like that random Valentine’s Day gift we got from a co-worker. The one we keep tucked away in the back of the closet – forgotten, neglected, and slightly questionable.

But, just like that odd gift, we're full of awesome potential waiting to be dusted off, loved, and re-purposed.

So, how do we do this?

Step 1: Listen to Your Inner Child

Tap into that kid who still loves finger paints and bubble wrap. Remember those days when a good tickle session and a bowl of ice cream could solve all your problems? Yeah, tap into that.

Do that thing that makes you giggle, even if it's watching cat videos or building a pillow fort. Unleash your inner dork and embrace the joy of pure fun.

For me, this is going for a run in the rain. It feels like childish freedom. Wet shoes and all.

Step 2: Ditch the Guilt Trip, My Friend

Did you finally take a nap and then feel like a sloth who had abandoned its responsibilities? You're not a sloth, you're a human who needs rest!

Prioritize your well-being, whether it's saying "no" to that extra work project or unapologetically taking a mental health day. You're not a machine, you're a masterpiece in the making, and masterpieces need downtime.

After a focus session where I’ve knocked out some big tasks I’ll take a 15 minute break to watch some stand up comedy videos, or if it's a nice day, go take a quick nap in the Carolina Blue sunshine.

Step 3: Befriend Your Imperfections

We all have them, the quirks and wobbly bits that make us uniquely us. Instead of trying to Photoshop them out of existence, let's celebrate them!

That mole on your nose? It's so you!

Those awkward dance moves? I’ve got them, too!

They're a symphony of self-expression. Embrace your weirdness, because it's what makes you, well, you.

I’d much rather be known (and remembered) for being a little weird than known (and probably forgotten) for being “normal.”

Step 4: Be Your Own Hype Squad

We're all too good at pointing out our flaws, but when was the last time you gave yourself a high five for nailing that presentation or surviving a family reunion without a meltdown?

Be your own cheerleader, celebrate your victories (big and small), and remind yourself that you're freaking awesome.

I journal just about every day and will write down things that I’m particularly proud of for myself or enjoyed: 5 mile run in the rain — yes!

And Remember…

Self-love isn't about becoming a self-obsessed narcissistic pig head, it's about treating yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and respect you show others.

It's about realizing that you're not just a supporting character in someone else's story, you're the Oscar Award Winning Star of your own epic adventure.

Be kind to yourself and watch how the world around you starts to shine a whole lot brighter.

Now, go out there and treat yo’ self to a special Valentine’s Day. 🥰

Conquer Your Mornings: 8 Habits to Slay the Snooze Button and Spark Joy

Mornings. The land of warm blankets, tempting snooze buttons, and the internal battle cry of "five more minutes!"

We've all been there, staring at the ceiling, questioning if leaving dreamland is even worth it.

But fear not, today, we're throwing open the curtains and letting the sunshine of motivation flood your mornings.

Forget the rigid routines that feel more like Army Boot Camp. We're talking about simple, actionable habits that will transform your dawn-time demeanor from "ugh" to "bring it on!"

So, grab a mug of coffee or tea (I’m drinking a nice herbal tea as I write this) and settle in, because these 8 tips are about to revolutionize your mornings:

Tip 1 — Snooze Button? More Like "Snooze Your Motivation"

Hitting snooze might seem harmless, but it actually disrupts your sleep cycle, leaving you feeling groggy and unproductive. Resist the urge and get up when your alarm goes off. It's tough at first, but the extra energy you'll gain is worth it. (And if you do get tired later in the day, perhaps try to work in a 15-20 minute power nap).

Tip 2 — Phone Detox: Escape the Digital Dungeon

I get it, you're attached to your phone like a koala to a eucalyptus tree. But resist the urge to check it first thing upon waking up! Research shows it can spike stress and anxiety, making you feel like you're already behind. Give yourself an hour phone-free to truly wake up and connect with yourself. (If an hour seems too long for you, start with 10 minutes).

Tip 3 — Hydrate Like a Fish, Not a Cactus

We all know that water is good, but did you know it's your morning motivation BFF? Dehydration can leave you feeling sluggish and foggy. So, chug a glass of water first thing. It'll rehydrate your body and kick-start your metabolism, making you feel more alert and ready to tackle the day.

Tip 4 — Mindfulness: Ditch the Rush, Embrace the Now

Instead of a mad dash to the shower, slow down for a bit. Dedicate 10-15 minutes to mindful moments – it doesn't have to be meditation (unless that's your thing). Savor a mug of coffee or tea, listen to calming music, or simply sit quietly. This present-moment awareness will set the tone for a calmer, more focused day.

Tip 5 — Gratitude: Start with a Thankful Heart

Before you even think about the to-do list, take a moment to appreciate the little things. Three things you're grateful for? A roof over your head, the smell of coffee, friends and family that you love. This simple practice shifts your focus from stress to positivity, setting a brighter tone for your day.

Tip 6 — Set Your Intention: Be the Captain of Your Day

An intention isn't a goal, it's a feeling or quality you want to embody for the day. Do you want to be patient? Focused? Joyful? Take a moment to set this intention after your mindfulness and gratitude practices. It'll give your day direction and purpose, keeping you motivated throughout.

Tip 7 — Get moving: Blood Flow is Your Friend

Remember that sluggish mornings often stem from stagnant energy. So, after your mindful moments and before diving into the day, get your body moving! A brisk walk, some stretches, a run, or even a quick dance session can do wonders. Increased blood flow delivers oxygen and nutrients to your brain, boosting alertness, focus, and mood.

Tip 8 — Flexibility is Key: Not Every Day is Perfect

Listen, some mornings are just plain rough. Don't beat yourself up if the thought of a full-blown routine makes you want to crawl back under the covers.Maybe just focus on one or two habits on those days, or give yourself some extra snooze time (but resist the urge to hit that snooze button repeatedly!).

A final point:

Remember, the key is to personalize these habits. Experiment and find what works for you. And most importantly, enjoy the process! Building new routines takes time, so be patient and kind to yourself.

Soon, you'll be waking up with a smile, ready to conquer the day instead of hitting the snooze button.

Now, go forth and make your mornings magical! 🙂

Feeling Lost in a Bowl of "Shoulds"? Try a New Salsa

Let go of the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and uncover your "HELL YEAHs!" with my very own “Secret Salsa” recipe that unlocks your true potential. ️

Forget trying to microwave stale tortilla chips to bring back their crispness. And move on from adding jalepeños and pineapple to a jar of boring store-bought salsa.

This isn’t about just making due with what you have because you feel like you “should”…

It's about an action-packed adventure that unearths your core values – the magical stuff that makes your soul sing!

Imagine:

  • Purpose: Ditch the "meh" and navigate life with the swagger of a pirate with a magical compass that always points you in the direction of the treasure you are seeking.

  • Passion: Every day becomes a fiesta when you're living your truth.

  • Growth: Obstacles? Pah! You'll leap over them like a gazelle on Red Bull. ‍

  • Connections: Ditch the small talk and forge bonds that go deeper than the Mariana Trench.

So, ready to ditch the "shoulds" and embrace the "HELL YEAHs!"?

Then you’ll definitely want my “Secret Salsa” recipe.

Warning: It’s a spicy one! But it will give your soul the kick that it desperately needs.

I’ve got the full list of “ingredients" for you in the form of powerful reflective questions that will help you gain the clarity you want and get excited about your life again.

You’ll be feeling like you just broke open a huge piñata of self-discovery.

And all you need to do is sign up for my email list and you’ll automatically receive these “ingredients” in a free PDF download.

Already signed up? And already have the download?

Then, my dear amigo or amiga, please set aside an hour and go through the “recipe.”

And when you are done contact me HERE to set up a free 30-minute review conversation.

You know that a change is necessary.

It’s time to spice things up around here!

So, what are you waiting for? 🙂

Super Bowl Sunday? More Like Super YOU Sunday!

Happy Super Bowl Sunday!

The confetti, the roar of the crowd, the ultimate victory. Vegas, baby!!!

We all know the dream, right?

But let's be real, most of us aren't strapping on helmets and throwing touchdown passes anytime soon. (And you might not actually care at all about football, anyway).

I wanna flip the script.

So, forget about that funny shaped ball, what's YOUR "Super Bowl"?

Think beyond trophies and fame — this ain't about impressing anyone.

This is about the personal win that makes YOUR heart do a touchdown dance worthy of a viral TikTok video.

Maybe it's conquering that fear of public speaking, finally nailing that creative project, or reconnecting with a loved one.

Maybe it's starting your own business, traveling the world, or mastering that killer mango salsa recipe.

Whatever it is, let Super Bowl Sunday be your inspiration.

Today, don't just watch the game, dream the game.

Close your eyes, feel the fire in your gut, and envision yourself crossing the goal line of YOUR personal "Super Bowl."

Because guess what? The only limit is the one you set.

So, what's it gonna be?

On this Super Bowl Sunday, dream big, shoot for the stars (No, better than the stars — To Infinity and Beyond!), and remember, the confetti flies for champions, and YOU are a champion in the making.

Now go out there and WIN!!! 🙂

Time Management: You Snooze, You Lose

Ah, time management.

Those two words can either conjure up images of zen productivity gurus conquering their days, or send shivers down the spine of the chronically overwhelmed.

But my friend, let's pop that productivity bubble for a second.

There's no magic “To-Do Fairy Godmother” sprinkling dust on our schedules. (Not that I’ve found, anyway.)

Every single thing we do, every glorious, mundane, or mind-numbing minute of it, takes time.

Even that "quick browse" of social media and “research” on YouTube can mysteriously morph into an hour-long scroll-a-thon if you are not careful. (Oh how I can so easily get sucked into stand up comedy videos — Jim Gaffigan making me laugh again. 🤣)

So, where does this leave us, mere mortals juggling overflowing inboxes and ever-growing to-do lists? (I recently wrote about my own “to-do dilemma.” Click here for that blog.)

Enter the calendar, our unsung hero.

Yep, the same one you use to remember dentist appointments, birthdays, and those daily Zoom-athons.

Turns out, it's the secret weapon for taming that time beast.

Here's the mind-blowing (yet completely logical) revelation: schedule everything.

Your hourlong to-dos and even the 5-minute ones.

Treating them like important meetings forces you to be intentional and, dare I say, respectful of your own time.

Block out 1 hour for “write blog post,” 15 minutes for "phone call with mom," 10 minutes for "reply to urgent emails," and even 5 minutes for "check voice mail."

Scheduling everything might sound like overkill or counterintuitive for small tasks, but here's the magic:

  • It creates focus: Suddenly, that 15-minute phone call doesn't turn into an all day long catch-up session (love you, Mom, but boundaries!).

  • It prevents procrastination: You know exactly when to tackle each task, removing the "I'll do it later" trap.

  • It boosts your sense of accomplishment: Checking off those scheduled tasks feels like winning mini-victories, which fuels motivation.

Now, I'm not saying you necessarily need to color-code everything on your calendar like a productivity Picasso. Or schedule everything down to the minute like an “every second counts” Mission Impossible scenario. (Unless a 1-minute bright red calendar item at 1:34pm that reads “Pee Break'' really works for you.)

I only use a few different colors on my Google Calendar (blue, yellow, red). And I don’t schedule items for less than 15 minutes. If I have 2 very quick items that are less than 15 minutes I’ll overlap them on my calendar.

And I do make occasional adjustments to how I handle my to-dos and calendar as I experiment with productivity systems and ideas.

Some trial and error will help you find your own calendar groove.

But by simply treating your to-dos like appointments, you'll witness a time-management transformation worthy of a Marvel superhero movie.

So, ditch the "I'll get to it someday” and “eventually" mentality and schedule your way to success.

Remember, even the quickest tasks deserve a spot on your time throne.

Now go forth and conquer your day, one scheduled to-do at a time! 🙂

Stuck in a Rut? Your Mind is Begging for a Growth Spurt!

Ever feel like you're spinning your wheels, going nowhere fast?

Like you're the same person you were, oh, let's say...a year ago?

Yawn.

Newsflash: stagnation is the enemy of awesome.

That's where the growth mindset swoops in, cape billowing and brain muscles flexing.

Imagine your brain is a garden. With a fixed mindset, it's like planting the same wilted petunia every day. Not a good looking garden.

But with a growth mindset, it's a wildflower meadow bursting with potential. Every experience, every challenge, even every epic fail, is fertilizer for your brainpower. A glorious and growing garden indeed.

Think you're bad at public speaking? See it as a chance to unleash your inner Tony Robbins (even if you are not as gigantic as he is).

Bombed that test? It's a treasure trove of learning, a map to guide your studying next time.

Remember, every setback is a setup for a comeback, and comebacks are way more interesting than reruns of the same old you.

Here's the secret sauce: constant learning. You’ve got to devour books, podcasts, articles – anything that ignites your curiosity.

But don't just passively consume; you’ve got to actively evaluate what you are learning.

Ask yourself:

  • What can you apply to your life?

  • How can you level up your skills?

This isn't about checking boxes; it's about becoming the best version of yourself, the one who laughs in the face of challenges and embraces growth like a long-lost friend.

And don't forget the self-reflection. Ask yourself these powerful questions:

  • Am I better today than yesterday?

  • Did I learn something new?

  • Did I push myself outside my comfort zone?

If the answer is "nope," don't sweat it. Just tweak your approach, get going on some SMARTY goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Sensitive, and Yippee-Ki-Yay), and get back on track. (For more on SMARTY goals see this blog post. Here’s the link: SMARTY Goals)

Remember, progress, not perfection, is the name of the game. At least with this concept. (For an explanation on the distinction about this, see yesterday’s blog post. Here’s the link: Almost: When "Close" Counts (and When it Doesn't)).

So, ditch the mental stagnation and embrace the growth spurt!

Your brain, your future self, and even the rest of us will thank you for it.

Now go forth and conquer, you magnificent, ever-evolving being! 🙂

Almost: When "Close" Counts (and When It Doesn't)

My dad, a man of unwavering wisdom and questionable jokes, likes to say, "‘Almost' is only good in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear war!"

Now, before you picture me growing up in a fallout shelter dodging weapons of mass destruction (though that would be a great memoir), his point was far less explosive: sometimes "almost" is enough, other times it's a participation trophy in the game of life.

Think about it…

Did your “almost got out of bed” help you reach your personal development goals today?

Did your "almost finished” presentation land you the job?

Did your “almost made it” last-second field goal attempt win the football game?

Nope. Nope. And nope.

In these scenarios, "almost" is the consolation prize, the pat on the back that says, "Nice try, but...not quite"

Now…maybe you are a fan of “almost” so hold on, don't despair just yet.

Remember the game of horseshoes? Getting close actually counts for points!

When the stakes are lower, when “close” is actually good, when progress is the goal, "almost" becomes a stepping stone, a "not quite yet" that fuels the fire for the next attempt.

So, the key to harnessing the power of "almost" lies in understanding the game you're playing. Are you aiming for a win-or-lose situation, or is the journey itself the reward? Knowing the rules can make "almost" your teammate, not your enemy.

So, the next time you find yourself teetering on the edge of "almost," take a breath and assess the situation.

Is this a “game of horseshoes moment,” a stepping stone, or a participation trophy in disguise?

Choose wisely, my friend, and remember, "almost" can be your biggest cheerleader or your worst critic. Play the game right, and it might just surprise you.

And to my dad, who is probably out walking his dog (hopefully you’re “almost home” and that this will motivate you to keep going — your comfy chair awaits), thanks for the life lesson, even if it came with a side of very questionable humor. 🙂

Ditch the "Gotch-ya!" Game: Why Listening is the Superpower You Didn't Know You Had

Imagine a world where conversations weren't battlegrounds, but bridges. Where understanding trumped one-upping, and compassion ruled over defensiveness.

That's the magic of Stephen Covey's Habit 5: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

Sounds simple, right?

But let's be honest, most of us are stuck in the habit of: "Seek first to reply, never to understand.”

We listen with ears primed for rebuttal, searching for flaws so that we can launch into our magnificent moment of "Gotch-ya! Gotch-ya! Caughtch-ya wit yo pants on fi-ya cuz yuz a big fat lie-ya!”

This win-at-all-costs approach leaves everyone feeling unheard, unseen, and frankly, pretty darn drained.

Here's the secret weapon to break free: empathic listening.

It's not just about hearing words, it's about stepping into the other person's shoes, feeling their emotions, and seeing the world through their eyes.

This might involve asking clarifying questions, reflecting back what you've heard, and resisting the urge to jump in with your own advice (however awesome you think your advice might actually be).

Crazy thing is, when you truly listen, something amazing happens. The person you're talking to feels valued, respected, and understood. This opens the door for them to reciprocate, creating a space for genuine connection and collaboration.

Imagine problem-solving fueled by empathy, not ego.

Imagine resolving conflicts with kindness, not cutting remarks.

That's the power of "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

Of course, it's not always easy. Our natural tendency is to defend our own perspective, but here's the truth: understanding doesn't equal agreement. You can listen deeply without endorsing everything the other person says.

It's about creating a safe space for open communication, where everyone feels heard and valued.

So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, don’t turn it into a debate. Ditch the "gotch-ya!" game.

Choose to listen with empathy, and watch what unfolds.

You might be surprised by the level of understanding, connection, and even joy that emerges.

Remember, communication is a two-way street, and sometimes, the most powerful words are the ones we choose not to say, but to truly hear.

Now go forth and listen like your relationships depend on it, because they do! 🙂

Not Your Typical Hallmark Holiday: International Networking Week And The Interconnected Web We Weave

Happy “International Networking Week” my friend!!!

In case you didn’t know, February 4-10 is the “week of all weeks” in the business networking world.

Maybe you missed it in the array of Valentine’s Day displays of roses, chocolates, “Be Mines,” and more stuffed animals than ten carnivals combined at your local stores, pharmacies, and supermarkets?

I don’t think that there are any “International Networking Week” balloons, parades, greeting cards, or even television specials on Netflix.

This is an annual initiative from a business networking group of which I am a member. The celebratory week provides a platform for leaders across the globe to cultivate meaningful connections, foster collaboration, and unlock opportunities for long-term success (at least that is what the official statement says, anyway).

As awesome as “International Networking Week” can be…I see something beneath the surface, something quite profound: a reminder of how interconnected our world truly is.

Travel with my mind for a moment (my apologies for inviting you on this journey, but this is where my mind is wandering to at 5:39pm as I drink a late-afternoon mug of tea).

My “Raspberry Passion Perfect Energy” tea started as leaves in Japan, traveled across oceans, was processed, bagged, packaged, then delivered to a local Amazon.com warehouse, hung out there for a bit, and then arrived a couple weeks ago at my doorstep in the Metro Charlotte, North Carolina area.

Each step involved people, stories, and choices that ultimately landed that tea bag in my mug of hot water.

This, my friend, is the essence of international. Our lives are woven with invisible threads of internationalism.

The clothes we wear, the food we eat, the technology we use – all bear the mark of countless individuals interconnected across our globe.

The cotton in my Levis apparently is helping a Pakistani farmer educate his children. My breakfast banana was harvested by a Costa Rican who was supposedly paid a fair wage to do so. While my Samsung Chromebook was assembled by a Vietnamese technician who used renewable energy sources.

This interconnectedness isn't just a fascinating fact; it's a call to mindfulness. Realizing our choices ripple outwards, impacting lives and environments far beyond our immediate circle.

The tea I sip, the banana I peel, the laptop I type on – they all represent a chain of decisions with global implications.

So, the next time you reach for a product, some food, or a hot beverage, take a moment to consider its journey. It's not just something that magically appeared before you; it's a connection to a global network of people and ecosystems.

This awareness empowers us to make conscious choices, supporting responsible practices and fostering a more interconnected and sustainable future.

We're not isolated islands; we're part of a vast, dynamic web.

Let's use this “International Networking Week” (even if it doesn't have a special mini-series on Netflix), as a reminder to be mindful of our interconnectedness, and to consciously choose actions that weave a more positive tapestry for our shared world.

Now, excuse me while I finish my tea...remembering the farmer, the shipper, the packager, the Amazon.com driver, and everyone else who made this simple act of sipping possible.

After all, it's not just a drink; it's a global story in a mug. 🙂

Unlocking Your Potential: Acceptance Is The Key

We spend so much time wishing things were different.

Wishing that job wasn't so demanding, that traffic wasn't so brutal, or that our loved ones wouldn't push our proverbial buttons.

But the truth is, fighting against reality is like trying to outrun our own shadow – exhausting and ultimately futile.

Here's the secret weapon to unlock our true potential: Acceptance.

Acceptance doesn't mean waving a white flag and giving up. It's not about rolling over and letting life steamroll you into mediocrity.

Instead, it's about acknowledging things as they are — flaws and all. It's about seeing things as they are — not as you wish them to be.

It's like stepping back from a painting to see the whole picture, not just the brushstrokes you wish were different.

This shift in perspective might seem subtle, but it's a game-changer.

By embracing reality, you free up your precious energy from the constant struggle against it.

Think of it like this: instead of pushing against a closed door, you insert the key, gently turn the knob, and discover a new room.

Acceptance opens the door to this new room. You're no longer lost in the "what ifs" or the "should haves." You're fully engaged in the now, with all of your senses and all of your potential.

This doesn't mean you have to be happy with everything. (Yippee I’m 50 and broke!)

No, it just means you recognize the current situation.

And guess what?

When you stop resisting reality, an interesting thing happens. You free up a ton of energy. Energy that was spent fighting can now be channeled into something far more productive: action.

When you truly see things as they are, you can identify what actually needs to change. You can start making choices, taking steps, and actively shaping your life.

It's like tilling the soil before planting the seeds. Without accepting the current state of the ground, your efforts won't bear fruit.

Acceptance doesn't mean wishing for a different situation. It means finding your point of engagement within the existing reality.

It's about seeking opportunities for growth and transformation within the present moment. It's about saying, "This is where I am, and I'm going to make the most of it."

Can you change your job today? Probably not, but you can change your approach to it while you begin to find some better options.

Can you find ways to manage traffic stress? Of course, there are a ton of mindfulness techniques to try.

Can you set boundaries with loved ones? Yes, there are plenty of books available to help you out.

So, ditch the fight and embrace the power of acceptance.

It's not about weakness, it's about wisdom. It's not about giving up, it's about gaining control. It's not about wishing for a different life, it's about creating the life you truly want, one empowered step at a time — starting from where you’re at.

Remember, acceptance is the key that unlocks your potential.

Start turning that key today. 🙂

Lost In Translation? Why Not Being Understood Is Actually Okay

Ever feel like you're speaking a different language than everyone else? 

Words tumble out, clear in your head, yet met with furrowed brows and confused smiles. Or worse — cutting remarks.  

It's enough to make you want to crawl into an existential hermit hole. 

But here's the thing: sometimes, not being understood is perfectly okay.

Imagine your soul as a kaleidoscope, a vibrant tapestry of experiences and passions unique to you. 

Now, imagine trying to translate that into words for someone whose kaleidoscope holds entirely different colors. It's a beautiful, messy process, and sometimes, the pieces just don't quite fit.

Here’s something extremely important to remember and hold onto tightly: your kaleidoscope is beautiful, regardless. 

You don't need everyone to understand every facet in order for it to have value. 

Embrace the mystery, the unspoken depths. Let your individuality shine, even if it shines a little differently.

Instead of seeking constant validation from others, focus on understanding yourself. 

Dive deep into your passions, explore the fringes of your thoughts. 

The more you know yourself, the less need you’ll have for external understanding and acceptance. 

Remember, the world desperately needs your unique perspective, your vibrant colors. 

Don't mute them just because some can't decipher the language. 

Keep speaking your truth, and trust that the right people will hear it, loud and clear. 

After all, sometimes the most beautiful things are the ones that can't be fully translated. 🙂

Carolina Blue Bliss: A Moment Of Harmony In Winter's Embrace

Ah, the Carolinas!

Today, they're living up to their name, painted in that iconic "Carolina Blue" that stretches across the sky, not a cloud daring to intrude.

It's a stark contrast to that February, a few years back, where the rain seemed to have a permanent lease on the sky. Buying a “DIY Noah's Ark Kit” was the only reasonable thing to do in response to the floods of rain. Oh, the memories of wet shoes, soggy socks, and endless puddles!

Don't get me wrong, I do love the rain, the crisp chill of cooler months, and the occasional snow we get here in Charlotte.

But this unexpected spring-like day? It's a nice gift. And today, I’ll take it.

My office window is open to let in the cool morning air. Sunlight streams in too, warming my skin as it carries the cheerful chirps of birdsongs.

In this moment, nature's harmony is palpable. Seasons dance, months waltz by, and days are like brushstrokes on a canvas. "Picture a bright blue ball just spinning, spinning free. Dizzy with eternity." sing the Grateful Dead. I'm reminded of the grand picture, the interconnectedness of it all.

Wherever you are on this spinning blue ball today take a pause, my friend.

Breathe deeply.

Feel the sun (even if for you it is obscured by clouds).

Hear the wind (soft or boisterous).

Listen to the animals or people (making their various sounds).

Take in your surroundings, be present to the symphony of the moment. Thank the Universe for the incredible journey you're on, for the world that encompasses you. This world, with all its complexities, holds moments of pure, unadulterated beauty.

Today, let's savor the bliss together.

And remember to be grateful for every spin of this grand, blue ball we call home.

Enjoy! 🙂