This is a re-posted guest post from my friend Katelyn Crist. Enjoy!

A couple of years ago, I was roaming the bookstore looking at writing journals with daily prompts. One journal I came across had the same writing prompt every day. It was, “Today my dysfunction is…” I laughed at the simple cleverness of the concept. Every day you spin your personal story from the standpoint of your dysfunction. At the time, I allowed that to prompt me into writing about my habit of finishing people’s sentences for them. (Ok, I STILL struggle with that sometimes if they are searching for words and I know what they are trying to say…)

While a laughable phrase, isn’t it true? Every single person has dysfunction, in some cases, multiple dysfunctions, that shape the way they interact with the world, the people they are attracted to as partners and friends, and then who is attracted to them as well. There goes that old saying, “misery loves company.” That’s true. Replace misery with dysfunction and you have even more truth. Every single one of us has been touched by couples and groups who have banded together by dysfunction.

There is validity in taking the time to think about your personal dysfunctions, not for the purposes of dwelling on them and becoming consumed with them, but identifying them, understanding them, and then taking steps to turn them from negative dysfunctions to positive functions.

Sometimes a personal dysfunction is difficult to identify. It can take stepping away from your social circle or getting out of a situation to truly see it. You may have to start with taking inventory of the friends you have in your inner circle. Think about the five people you spend the most time with. For many of us, our number one person is our spouse. Beyond that, maybe a boss, or a parent, or a close friend. Look at who consumes your time. What are these people like? List their three best qualities and their top three challenging qualities and really think about them. If you are struggling to list good qualities about the people you spend the most time with, then take note of that as well. 

Another angle to explore is to look at people who have been attracted to you for business, friendship, romantic relationships, leadership, etc… In other words, what kind of people is your personality attracting? Are you attracting people of character? Honest people or dishonest people? Do the friends you hang out with gossip and say hurtful things about others? Looking at your friends’ behaviors can say a lot about who you are at that moment. 
Lastly, look back on your family of origin and how you grew up. This can, for some, be the most painful part of the process. Our DNA and the environment we were nurtured in sets us up for the rest of our lives. That doesn’t mean that we necessarily have to let our genes and our pasts define us, but it is important to understand where you came from to know if we are perpetuating bad familial trends. 

As part of your new year, taking stock of yourself and those in positions of influence in your life can be a very healthy exercise promoting personal growth and setting the stage for future success. If you are not in a place in your life that is moving forward towards your goals and dreams, the people around you might be part of the reason.

If this type of self-exploration is something that is new to you, or even scary, make an appointment with life coach, Brenton Weathers. Part of his job is to help you identify who you are right now, who you want to be, where you want to be, and guide you how to get there. 

Make this the year of finishing the statement, “Today my Dysfunction Is…NOTHING!”