Turns out, the age of embarrassing family photo albums isn't the only reason we get awkward about pictures.

Apparently, hitting my "mature thirties” means it's also time for those lovely internal portraits - you know, the colonoscopy kind.

If you saw my birthday post on January 19th (ahem, yes, I still consider myself 35 with a bonus decade and a half plus a little extra, thank you very much!), I’m not all that excited to be as old as I really am.

I do have trouble accepting it. And getting a colonoscopy really seals the “Hey, Brenton, you are NOT actually 35” deal. Those things are only for old people.

But guess what? I survived!

No immediate bad news, thank the colon gods (are there colon gods?).

Still, after a year of health hiccups, this wasn't just a trip to the doctor's office for a routine check up - it was a journey into the unknown.

Let's just say, I was a nervous wreck yesterday.

I was picturing myself in a gown with my ass all exposed to the world getting ready for an entirely inappropriate photo session with a bunch of people I’d never met before.

Because my mind was casting itself into the unpleasantries of the next day, I was not very present in the moment yesterday evening.

I was running all over the house.

Frantic.

I couldn’t find the Gas-X pills that I would need in order to save my stomach from exploding due to the very not-so-tasty, diarrhea-inducing medicine that I had just started chugging down.

I was losing my shit…long before literally, losing my shit.

When I get stressed, my "superpower" kicks in: sarcasm and cutting remarks!

“Mr. Alegre” meets his match and he’s taken down swiftly. Sucker punch to the jaw. Out cold!

Oh I've done therapy, I’ve read plenty of books, I’ve had a life coach of my own for years, I journal and meditate daily — the whole shebang, but last night, “Mr. Not-So-Pleasant-To-Be-Around” took over.

Not my finest hour (or four), but hey, I was about to have the hospital paparazzi snap some very unflattering photos.

That special potion was kicking in hard.

Thankfully, I had found the Gas-X. (I do really wonder what I would have gone through without those explosion-calming pills???)

I was starting to feel that I would be spending the night in the baño.

AND…

I could also feel a life lesson coming on (hey, a two for one).

So, what's the life lesson here?

Take a seat mi amigo, here you go:

• Know Your Emotions: Figure out your go-to stress responses and be aware of them.

• Study Your Emotions: Learn your emotional trigger zones - those places, people, or situations, where you're likely to lose your cool (or shit).

• Own Your Emotions: Your emotions are valid, no matter how weird they may seem. Own them, don't suppress them. Lean into them. They do have something important to teach you.

• Lead Your Emotions: You choose how you react. This is where that elusive "emotional control" (or as I like to call it, “emotional leadership”) comes in. Remember, you're not at the mercy of your feelings and emotions, you can guide them like a ship in a raging storm.

Know. Study. Own. Lead.

Life's got plenty to teach us.

So, I do owe a big apology to my amazing fiance for tolerating “Mr. Not-So-Pleasant-To-Be-Around” last night.

And a note to myself to keep an eye out for him in the next stressful situation.

Remember: know yourself, understand yourself, own and lead your emotions with courage.

Because even when the pictures aren't pretty (and the camera isn’t where you’d like it to be), the journey of self-discovery is always worth it. 🙂