Stuckville is that emotional place where you feel like you have no options. That you are stuck with what you have. That there is nothing you can do about it. That you are forced into a corner with nowhere to go. No way out.

The effect of feeling this way causes limitations in your life. If you think that there are no options, that there is no way out, then you won’t look for solutions. It's a trick. It's a trap. You'll take up permanent residency in Stuckville. 

Stuckville really is not all that nice of a place to live. However, it seems to be a very hot real estate market right now. Ton's of buyers! Very few sellers! 

Life, death, and drugs

In my wayward youthful days of being an aspiring drug-runner, my friend Brian and I drove to Stockton, CA. About an hour or so from where we lived in the Sierra Nevada mountains. We drove to the "big city” in order to find some cheap pot.

The goal was buy cheap, get high, and sell higher.

We ended up getting robbed. 

A “Marijuana Sales Rep” approached my car to show us his merchandise (or so we thought). He looked like such a reputable salesman. Rather than discuss the deal of the day with us, he decided to jump into my car through the open window, and try to rip the cash out of Brian’s pockets. I freaked out and hit the gas! 

The sales rep stated, matter of factly, “Stop the car. Give me your money or my boys will shoot!” I stopped. We were robbed. His boys didn’t shoot.

Even in a “life, death, and drugs” situation like that, I still had a choice. I wasn't stuck. I chose to stop the car, hand over the money, and drive away bullet free! 

99.99% of the time I am not in that type of situation where choices feel extremely limited and neither are you (thankfully!). So let’s deal with some typical life scenarios.

Life in Stuckville

This is how I usually hear about "Life in Stuckville" from my clients. Maybe you've heard (or said) similar things?

“I hate my job. I have to go to work. What can I do about it? I need my job, I’ve got all of these bills!”

“My spouse is always negative and treats me poorly. I’ve asked him to change, but he won’t listen to me. I’m not sure what I’d do without him? I guess I’m just stuck with the jerk.”

“Every time my mom calls, she nags me about my life. I hate this, but I just have to put up with it. She is my mom.”  

Living in Stuckville is a choice

Do you have to work? Nope! Do you have to pay your bills? Nope! I highly doubt that you are being forced to work. The same door that let you into your place of employment will let you out. You are not being forced to pay your bills. You can walk away from them. Yes, your lights and water might get turned off. Yes, you may lose your house. Those are just consequences of not paying. You are not stuck. You always have a choice.

Do you have to stay in a difficult relationship? Nope! Not even with a spouse. People either go to counseling to try to work things out, find some workable solution, or decide to move on. The choice might not be easy, but feeling stuck and without a choice is not a lot of fun either! You are not stuck. You always have a choice.

Do you have to talk to your mom? Nope! You are not a horrible person if you don’t want to speak with someone who always nags you — even if it is your mother. You can choose to set up boundaries by requesting non-nagging from mommy. You can let her call go to voicemail and return the call when you are ready to engage mom in her nag-fest. Or you can change your number, move to a different country, and not tell her about it. You are not stuck. You always have a choice.

Moving out of Stuckville is also a choice

The next time you find yourself living in Stuckville ask yourself, “What choices do actually I have?” Make yourself come up with at least 6. Make sure to include what you are currently choosing to do in response to your situation as one of the choices (your current response is a choice). And now only 5 more possible choices to come up with. Write them down. You will be amazed at how empowered you feel with so many choices to choose from!

Powerfully pick one and choose to move on out of Stuckville.