1 Simple Trick To Achieve Your Goals

When we get excited about improving our lives we can come up with so many wonderful ways to do it.

Read a book a week, workout everyday at 5am for an hour, lose 20 pounds by Wednesday, be home for dinner every night, have a date night with our significant other once a week, read with our kids every night before bed, start volunteering at the animal shelter, and double our income in 60 days.

Phew — exhausting! I need a nap.

The reality check comes when we consider that it is extremely hard, if not impossible, to sustainably and sanely, take on more than one major goal at a time.

I get it. We want to do it all and do it all now. But by doing this we ultimately kill our motivation and create goal burnout. I have a suggestion...no, really it is actually a requirement.

Take your list of goals and look it over. (You do have a list of goals, don’t you? If not, stop reading this right now and write some down for crying out loud. 10 things you would be thrilled to accomplish in the next 6 months. Simple as that. And please, do yourself a favor and actually WRITE THEM DOWN!)

Looking at your list of goals, ask yourself: If I could only accomplish one of these goals in the next 6 months, which goal by achieving it would have the greatest positive impact on my life?

Once you have determined which goal that is, write that goal on a separate sheet of paper in HUGE BOLD PERMANENT MARKER LETTERS. Yes, find the Sharpie!

Write it in the first person present progressive tense. “I am running a marathon.” “I am doubling my income.” “I am reading to my kids every night.” You get the idea.

One caveat. Write the goal from a positive reference point. For example, if your goal is to: lose weight, quit smoking, or get out of debt. State these this way: I am at my ideal weight of 175; I am a non-smoker; I am financially free. Your mind will have a tendency to gravitate toward the negative words and focus there (lose, quit, get out, debt), so try to avoid using them.

Now throw the original goal list away. Seriously, throw the list away. In the trash. Gone. You do not need to look at it any more.

Take your new goal list of “Goal Numero Uno” and stick it somewhere where you will see it all of the time. Put it up in multiple places. On your car dashboard, on your bathroom mirror, on your office window, on your coffee mug, on your dog, on your kids....wherever. Look at it often. And say it out loud every time you look at it.

Doing this will cement your goal so powerfully into your subconscious that your mind will be like, “Enough already….we’ll run the damn marathon!!!” You’ll implement the Power of Focus, the Law of Attraction, the Law of Cause and Effect, and even rally up the heavenly angels, too! All of this will cause you to achieve your goal AND also (wah-lah, like magic) achieve successes in areas beyond your goal.

Because, as you determined, the main goal that you are pursuing is the one that is going to have an enormously positive impact on you. There will be a ripple effect and a tidal wave of awesomeness flowing into other areas of your life.

One goal. One focus. A multitude of benefits. Do it. You’ll be amazed at the results.

Are You Choosing To Be Miserable?

Once you realize that you always have a choice, you can then begin to dive a bit deeper with this concept and explore the reason behind your choices. I find this quite fascinating, hopefully you will too!

There is always a reason behind every choice that we are currently making (and have ever made).

I once worked with a client and coached her around her job dissatisfaction. She told me that she was miserable in her job. That she hated the work. She didn't like the company and nor the people that she worked with.

“So what do you like about the job?” I asked curiously. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing! I hate all of it!” was her emphatic reply.

“It sounds like you are miserable. So...why are you still working there?” I asked with even more curiosity.

She pondered for awhile and then replied, “I’ve been working for this company for the last 10 years...I just don’t know what else to do...I guess I’m just used to being miserable.”

“And why are you choosing to be miserable?” I probed. “I’m not choosing to be miserable, the job is making me miserable!” Came the quick reply.

We were getting to the heart of the matter, so I asked, “Ok, why are you choosing to continue to work at a job that is making you miserable?”

The big ah-ha...The flash of lightning...The great epiphany.

“Oh crap...I’m actually choosing this and continuing to choose this because I don’t know anything different!”

The truth began to rear its ugly head. Misery had become the norm — the status quo. A job change would mean heading into the unknown. And the unknown is usually seen as scary.

Like my client, we so often choose misery because we do not know what non-misery would be like!

Is there something in your life that you are tolerating? Some misery that you are putting up with?

Hint: There is. There always is.

Why are you continuing to choose to be miserable? Figure that out and you’ll be ready to start making some positive changes in your life. Leave it to fester and you’ll contract a debilitating disease called Regret.

In The End, Will You Regret Your Life?

It is a sad and unfortunate reality that most people die full of regret. Their dying breaths leave them longing for the life that they failed to live.

Will this be your fate, too?

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care. She cared for patients in the last weeks of their lives. As she attended to her patients, she recorded their dying epiphanies — gathering so much information that she wrote a book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

What are those "Top Five Regrets"? Well, to get all five I'd recommend reading the book, however, I find the top regret so powerful that it gives us plenty to consider.

The top regret was, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

Ware notes, "This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled."

Ouch!!!

I have unfortunately known too many people who were either living other people's lives rather than their own or not fully living their own life. Many people suppress their true identity — their true uniqueness — in order to make others happy, or in order to make it easier to get along with others, or in order to not create conflict with others, or in order to…….The list goes on and on and on.

The result of living like this? An incomplete life that one day they will regret. Just like Ware noted, they never fully became who they were truly capable of becoming.

Why do so many people choose to live this way?

Those who have sought to answer this question typically say that it is because of fear. That most people are afraid to embrace who they truly are. Afraid that others might laugh. Afraid that they might not be accepted. Sure, I get it. I fully understand being afraid to express oneself.

But I know that the fundamental problem goes deeper than fear. Much deeper. In my experience, most people do not believe that it is even possible for them to live their own extraordinary life — to truly live out their unique purpose in a passionate and powerful way.

How do you live a life without regret?

Belief + Vision + Action

Believe that you deserve to live your life without regret. You do.

Envision what it would look like for you to be on your deathbed reflecting upon a well-lived, regret-free life.(A morbid thought, I know….but this is good to do.) Who is gathered around you and what are your relationships like with those people? What memories are being shared? What experiences are you glad you had? The clearer your picture, the more engaged your emotions will be. And you’ll need engaged emotions for the next step.

Take courageous action today. Regret is just the effect of not having taken the necessary steps today to make your ideal life a reality. Whatever is going to be important for at the end of your life needs to be important now.  Invest in those key relationships now, not later. Create those fabulous memories now, not later. Have those tremendous experiences now, not later.

Don’t wait.

Waiting will lead to regret.

Do it now.

For as you live your days, so you live your life. Every single day matters. Make that well-lived, regret-free life happen today. Then repeat tomorrow. Do this, and your every breath will be full of regret-free living.

10 Awesome Tricks To Getting More Done Without Going Crazy

Do you suffer from Overwhelm? Join the club. We are a fun and neurotic group!

We all have WAY more to do than we could possibly every accomplish in this lifetime (or maybe that's just how I feel?). Perhaps that's the whole point of reincarnation - to finish our To-Do lists?!

I found these great tips, tricks, and ideas to help us work better. (This great stuff comes from David Wax and Lifehack.org—with just a dash of my own spin on them.)

1) Most Important Tasks (MITs)

At the start of each day (or the night before) highlight the three or four most important things you have to do in the coming day. Do those first thing. If you get nothing else accomplished aside from your MITs, you've still had a pretty productive day. As author and all-around "goal-guru" Brian Tracey says, "You always have time to focus on your Most Important Tasks."

2) Big Rocks

These are the big projects or long term goals you’re working on at any given moment. Set aside time every day (even if just a few minutes) to move your big rocks forward. For a really cool visual on this, find the Steven Covey YouTube video on Big Rocks. It Rocks!

3) Inbox Zero

Decide what to do with every email you get, the moment you read it. If there’s something you need to do, either do it right then or add it to your to-do list and delete or file the email. If it’s something you need for reference, file it.

Empty your email inbox every day if you can. Hard to do...I know. I've done this once in the last year or so. It was not easy, but wow, what a feeling!!! Euphoria for an hour or so until the emails returned. 

4) Wake up earlier/Stay up later

Add a productive hour to your day by getting up an hour earlier or staying up later — before or after everyone else starts imposing on your time. Know when you are at your best (whether morning or night) and while others are sleeping, use the quite to your advantage. Know which one is your thing. IF you are a morning person like me, getting in 30 extra minutes at the start of the day kicks the day into high gear.

5) One In, One Out

Avoid clutter by adopting a replacement-only standard. Every time you buy something new, you throw out or donate something old. For example: you buy a new shirt, you get rid of an old one. (Variation: One in, Two Out — useful when you begin to feel overwhelmed by your possessions.) There are some great articles written by awesome blogger, Leo Babauta of ZenHabits.net on minimalism. I highly recommend.

6) Brainstorming

The act of generating dozens of ideas without editing or censoring yourself. Lots of people use mind-maps for this: stick the thing you want to think about in the middle (a problem you need to solve, a theme you want to write about, etc.) and start writing whatever you think of. Build off of each of the sub-topics, and each of their sub-topics. Don’t worry about whether the ideas are any good or not — you don’t have to follow through on them, just get them out of your head. After a while, you’ll start surprising yourself with some really creative concepts. Sometimes a blank piece of paper is your best ally in getting more done.

7) Ubiquitous Capture

I had no idea what "ubiquitous" meant, but it sounded like a cool word that smart people would use. Dictionary.com to the rescue! It is fancy talk for, "existing or being everywhere..." 

Always carry something to take notes with — a pen and paper, a smartphone, a stack of index cards, a mini tape recorder. Whatever suits you. Capture every thought that comes into your mind, whether it’s an idea for a project you’d like to do, an appointment you need to make, something you need to pick up next time you’re at the store, whatever. Review it regularly and transfer everything to where it belongs: a to-do list, a filing system, a journal, etc.

8) Get Better Sleep

Sleep is essential to health, learning, and awareness. Research shows that the body goes through a complete sleep cycle in about 90 minutes, so napping for less than that doesn't have the same effect that real sleep does (although it does make you feel better). Strive to get the right amount of sleep that your body needs (this may take some experimenting on your part). Learn to see sleep as a pleasure, not a necessary evil or a luxury. Also try to avoid eating 2 to 3 hours before going to bed. And stay away from TV or any other screens before going to sleep.

9) Work Spurts

Work in short spurts of 15 minutes, interrupted by a 1-2 minute break. Use a timer if necessary.

Do this 4 times an hour to stay on target without over-taxing your physical and mental resources. Spend those 1 to 2 minutes getting a drink, going to the bathroom, stretching, or staring out a window. But do not spend the break getting sucked into some other task or issue (Facebook, radio, news, TV, conversation, etc).

10) SMART goals

SMART is a rubric for creating and pursuing your goals, helping to avoid setting goals that are simply unattainable. It stands for: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. 

Some will use "Realistic" instead of "Relevant." I add "Relevant" to this equation because a SMART Goal needs to be "Relevant" to who you are and your values. If not, then it’s not very smart no matter how awesome the goal might be. 

Got some tips of your own? Please share! 

The Undisputed Top 5.5 Reasons To Work With A Life Coach!

Why should you make a personal and financial investment in Coaching?

Drum roll please….

1 — To Become A More Effective Leader

It’s hard to always get the best from yourself. Hard to give your best to others. And hard to get the best from others. Whether you are a professional, a business owner, or a parent, leading is hard because it involves interacting with other people.

You’ve heard it said, “If it wasn’t for other people, life would be easy!” And although that sounds cute, it is not true. The hardest person to lead is actually yourself. Others are easy in comparison.

When you put personal leadership skills into practice you assume full responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your reactions. Doing so will finally enable you to get the results you want — not only from yourself, but from those for whom you are responsible.

A great coach will help you effectively lead both yourself and others.

2 — To Benefit From Real Accountability

Who is going to make sure that you did what you said you were going to do? And if you think that you are going to keep yourself accountable, all you have to do is look at your track record on this one.

Most, if not all, people fail miserably at keeping themselves accountable. If you truly want to change your life, your circumstances, your work environment, your sales, your health, or whatever it may be, you need outside accountability.

ALL super-achievers have coaches! This is not just a cliché statement, it is a fact. And great coaches have coaches.

A well-qualified coach knows how to push when necessary, how to comfort when needed, and how to keep you focused and moving forward at all times.

3 — To Experience Non-judgmental Listening

Who do you talk to when you’re about to lose it? When you have no answer to what’s troubling you? Or, worse yet, when you’re feeling totally overwhelmed?

You know that if you talk to your employees, your spouse, family, or even some of your friends, you’ll either just be told what to do (which you don’t want), made to feel stupid (also don’t want), or worse, ignored (really don’t want).

We all have complicated, even frightening issues in our lives. Well all have “stuff.” You are no different than anyone else. And no, you are not crazy — either.

A caring coach is able to help you solve these issues with objectivity, detachment, care, intuitive listening, and above all else, tons of compassion.

4 — To Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

You know that you want change. You want transformation. You say that you will do the necessary work. And yet time and time again you get stuck — really stuck.

What if you knew how to get unstuck so that you could actually move forward? What if you could get rid of that “head trash” and start making some progress?

An experienced coach will help you deal with those thoughts and beliefs that are at the core of why you are not where you want to be.

5 — To Invest In Yourself

Most people spend more time thinking about how to save for retirement than they do thinking about how to invest in themselves. Stocks, bonds, and saving accounts are all fine and dandy, but what about you?

Are you investing in you? If not, why not? Do you think that you are not worth the investment?

If you would want the best out of a retirement account and would do everything to make sure that you get it, wouldn’t you also want the best out of yourself? Aren’t you more important than an account?

Working with a certified coach is a way to invest in yourself and ensure that you are reaching your full potential.

5.5 — Why not?

Several very qualified coaches I know offer a money-back guarantee.

That is what I offer to my clients. No risk.

My offer is, “Hey, let’s work together for at least a month, and if this coaching thing is not working out, no problem, full refund.”

Why wouldn’t you?

Go for it. You’ll be glad you did!

Today My Dysfunction Is...

This is a re-posted guest post from my friend Katelyn Crist. Enjoy!

A couple of years ago, I was roaming the bookstore looking at writing journals with daily prompts. One journal I came across had the same writing prompt every day. It was, “Today my dysfunction is…” I laughed at the simple cleverness of the concept. Every day you spin your personal story from the standpoint of your dysfunction. At the time, I allowed that to prompt me into writing about my habit of finishing people’s sentences for them. (Ok, I STILL struggle with that sometimes if they are searching for words and I know what they are trying to say…)

While a laughable phrase, isn’t it true? Every single person has dysfunction, in some cases, multiple dysfunctions, that shape the way they interact with the world, the people they are attracted to as partners and friends, and then who is attracted to them as well. There goes that old saying, “misery loves company.” That’s true. Replace misery with dysfunction and you have even more truth. Every single one of us has been touched by couples and groups who have banded together by dysfunction.

There is validity in taking the time to think about your personal dysfunctions, not for the purposes of dwelling on them and becoming consumed with them, but identifying them, understanding them, and then taking steps to turn them from negative dysfunctions to positive functions.

Sometimes a personal dysfunction is difficult to identify. It can take stepping away from your social circle or getting out of a situation to truly see it. You may have to start with taking inventory of the friends you have in your inner circle. Think about the five people you spend the most time with. For many of us, our number one person is our spouse. Beyond that, maybe a boss, or a parent, or a close friend. Look at who consumes your time. What are these people like? List their three best qualities and their top three challenging qualities and really think about them. If you are struggling to list good qualities about the people you spend the most time with, then take note of that as well. 

Another angle to explore is to look at people who have been attracted to you for business, friendship, romantic relationships, leadership, etc… In other words, what kind of people is your personality attracting? Are you attracting people of character? Honest people or dishonest people? Do the friends you hang out with gossip and say hurtful things about others? Looking at your friends’ behaviors can say a lot about who you are at that moment. 
Lastly, look back on your family of origin and how you grew up. This can, for some, be the most painful part of the process. Our DNA and the environment we were nurtured in sets us up for the rest of our lives. That doesn’t mean that we necessarily have to let our genes and our pasts define us, but it is important to understand where you came from to know if we are perpetuating bad familial trends. 

As part of your new year, taking stock of yourself and those in positions of influence in your life can be a very healthy exercise promoting personal growth and setting the stage for future success. If you are not in a place in your life that is moving forward towards your goals and dreams, the people around you might be part of the reason.

If this type of self-exploration is something that is new to you, or even scary, make an appointment with life coach, Brenton Weathers. Part of his job is to help you identify who you are right now, who you want to be, where you want to be, and guide you how to get there. 

Make this the year of finishing the statement, “Today my Dysfunction Is…NOTHING!”

The 4 Keys To New Year's Resolution Success

Happy New Year!

It's that time of the year when most people take to dreaming again—thinking, hoping, wishing, and planning for something new in the New Year. About 50% of Americans will set (to some degree or another) New Year's Resolutions, yet a staggering few actually accomplish them. According to the statistics, only 8% of those who set New Year's Resolutions actually accomplish them. But that's not you, right?

Personally, I love to set goals. I really do. Perhaps that makes me a bit weird, but I get a lot of pleasure out of determining a goal, mapping out a course for achieving it, and then reaching it. The process is fun and exhilarating for me.

I have found that there are 4 Keys to New Year's Resolution Success. Before I get into the first Success Key, I need to get some assumptions out of the way. I assume that your New Year's Resolutions are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-sensitive). So to make sure that we are on the same page, let's review what good goal setting looks like.  

A quick review on S.M.A.R.T. goals.

You want your goals to be Specific—"Lose weight" is not specific. However, "Lose 20 pounds" is specific.

Measurable—"Become healthy" is not measurable. Though, "Become healthy enough to be able to run for 30 minutes at a 10 minute mile pace without stopping" is measurable.

Attainable—"Make a million dollars this year" is probably not an attainable goal if you are currently unemployed. So set a goal that will stretch you, but not break you. A goal that is so far beyond your reasonable reach will actually demotivate you more than it will motivate you.

Relevant—Some people call the "R" in SMART "Reasonable" or "Realistic" but those concepts are contained in Attainable. Relevant deals with having a goal that is relevant to your personal mission in life. Sure it may be time for some major changes in your life, however consider the relevance of a goal like "To travel from coast to coast by motorcycle" if you are currently a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids under 6 years old. Your current mission to care for you little ones is more relevant to who you are (at least currently). And raising kids is more adventurous than any motorcycle ride could ever be!

And finally, your goals need to be Time-Sensitive—"Write my first book" is not time-sensitive. The goal needs a deadline. "Write my first book and have it available to show to potential publishers by December 31" is time-sensitive. So double check those resolutions and make sure that they are S.M.A.R.T.

Ok. Now back to the 4 Keys To New Year's Resolution Success...

Key #1: Know your why

In order to accomplish your goals/resolutions you will need discipline. However, discipline alone will not get you to the finish line. I frequently talk to my coaching clients about their desire. You see, discipline without desire is pure drudgery. And no one wants to live a life of drudgery.

You have to know the "why" of your goal just as much as the "what" of your goal. Why do you want to accomplish your goal?

It's your goal, your resolution. Why do you want it? Be honest with yourself. Know why you want the goal. Let this motivate you to success.

What is your "why?"

Key #2: Focus on being

Ask yourself, "Who do I need to become in order to accomplish this goal?" If your goal is to lose 50 pounds, you need to become healthy. If your goal is to quit smoking, you need to become a non-smoker. If your goal is to make a million dollars, you need to become a millionaire.

The key here is to have the mindset, the attitude, the "being" of the person who would be able to achieve your goal. Healthy people maintain their bodies at healthy weights. Non-smokers do not smoke. Millionaires create financial opportunities and manage their money well.

Take a few minutes a day, close your eyes, and visualize your success. See yourself having accomplished your goal. How do you look and feel now that you have lost that weight, grown your business, read that book, etc, etc? Seeing the goal as already accomplished is a technique that elite athletes use. They practice their sport by visualizing their success: breaking the world record, dashing over the hurdles, standing on the podium with the medal around their neck. Picturing yourself as a "Goal Achieved Medalist" will create a lot of emotion that will power you forward.

Who do you need to be in order to reach your goal?

Key #3: Make it a habit

You will have greater success in reaching your goal if you can break it down into daily activities, actions, or behaviors. Ask yourself, "What are the actions that if I did them every day would guarantee that I reach my goal?"

Let's say you have a goal of increasing business revenue by 25% in the New Year. Great goal. What is the daily habit you could create? It might be to make 5 extra prospecting calls per day, to schedule one presentation meeting per day, and to call 3 past or current customers and ask for referrals. Or let's take a weight loss goal. You want to lose 30 pounds in 3 months. That's about ⅓ a pound a day which means cutting out or burning off roughly 1,000 calories a day. This could mean creating the habit of exercising aerobically for an hour a day. Or perhaps running for 30 minutes a day and cutting one meal in half. Or maybe walking for 30 minutes a day, only eating a salad or soup for dinner, and only drinking water instead of juice, soda, or alcohol.

Find a way to work on your goal every day so that you don't even have to think about it. You wake up, you go out for a walk. You arrive at work, you make 3 calls to clients and ask for referrals. You are hungry for dinner, you eat salad. You get the picture.

What habit can you create that will guarantee your success?

Key #4: Recognize your weaknesses

Making changes in your life is not easy. Recognize this and plan accordingly. This is where you get creative and plan on how to "trick" yourself. You know what your weaknesses are: plan for them.

It may be as simple as putting your exercise clothes next to your bed so that when you get up on the morning you literally trip over them and thus remind yourself of your goal. It could be writing "I only eat healthy food" on a large sticky note and putting it in the refrigerator or pantry so that you see it before you grab that unhealthy snack. It could be setting alarms on your smartphone that remind you to do the activity you had planned on. (For example: Alarm goes off every hour from 9am to 5pm to remind you to get up from your desk, stretch, and drink a ½ glass of water.)

Another part of this key is to anticipate distractions. If you are going to be traveling, and thus out of your normal routine, plan on how you will maintain your goal. Do not give in to the temptation to say, "Oh well, since I'm on vacation I do not have to eat healthy, exercise, read, make prospecting calls, etc…." You may need to modify the goal a bit, however, you can still find a way to creatively stick with it. A little advanced planning will go a long way.

The saying, "There are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic time-frames," is good to keep in mind. You may realize that your goal of losing 30 pounds in 3 months was not as S.M.A.R.T as you thought. That's ok.  Don't let the delay keep you from the goal. Keep pushing forward. The goal is still completely valid. Don't give up, just adjust the deadline.

What can you do to plan for setbacks, distractions, and delays?

If you haven't started on those resolutions yet, today’s the day. I wish you great success in the New Year!